2/27/2014

True Love

I want to thank you all for saving me so much angst and a whole lot of money all these years. You allow me to write about whatever is on my mind and often times you help me get through some really tough stuff. Many of you take the time to write to me and give me your two cents. Your two cents are worth a million dollars to me.

Why did I choose today to thank you so profusely? I felt that I needed to let you know how much you, my loyal readers, give to me... and I really need you right now. I had the choice of faking some light-hearted piece of fluff that would have been painful to write or I could tell you why I am hurting, which would also be painful, but honest and genuine.

I think you all know by now that at LoveFifi.com, we bring our dogs to work. There are sometimes more dogs than people. There are dog beds in the warehouse where we pack your orders and in every office where we create the magic. The dogs wander around and nap wherever they please. We take company dog walks in the park next door and the 2 employees who don’t have dogs of their own often take “dog breaks” and spend some time playing and cuddling any one of the doggies. The environment here is amazing for all concerned.

Today I had to go and pick up the ashes of my beloved Babydoll. I had been dreading it for weeks and just could not bring myself to go and collect her remains. I did it today because I knew everyone was in the office and they would support me during the unveiling. I have been a mess for weeks. I miss her so much.

The last weeks have be very sad for me. Babydoll was a character. She was a true diva in every way. She had more clothes than I did. Although those who didn’t know her well thought of her as a prissy dog, she was actually a pretty tough soldier. Five years ago, she was attacked by huge muscular dog who was not on a leash. He tore her nearly in half and if it were not for the efforts of my brilliant veterinarian, she would have died. To this day, Dr. K says that she was the most injured dog he had ever saved. She was in the hospital for over a month and had several operations. She survived, but was really never the same.

The fact that she was persnickety was probably due to me. When I would take her on walks, she would put one paw on the grass and if it were wet, she would draw her paw back and look at me as to say “I don’t DO wet grass, thank you very much”. I always cooked her food. She enjoyed a diet of chicken and brown rice or lamb and cous cous. I warmed it up in the microwave and if I ever tried to save a little time by giving it to her room temperature, I would get this puzzled look and she would walk right into the kitchen and sit in front of the counter where the microwave was.

She always had a “poof” of long hair tied with a ribbon on the top of her head. She was a fashion icon in the dog world. She honestly loved wearing clothes and it worked well because she had a huge scar that went completely around her body. My friends and family delighted in buying her girly girl stuff that included lots of bling. Her collar was solid rhinestones.

A few years ago I adopted a little boy dog that I call Beau, who had been severely abused. He was and is very shy and the polar opposite of an alpha dog. That was Babydoll. She ruled the world. If I gave them each a bone, she would plot and conspire as to how she would steal Beau’s bone when he wasn’t looking. She wanted both bones and Beau always stepped aside for the Queen.

In November, Babydoll’s breathing became very labored. She had a collapsed trachea after the attack which became more and more of a problem as the years passed. She was on shots and meds for years to help her breathe. Her abdomen had ballooned to an enormous size and the vet said it was because she was taking in air trying to breathe. He kept her for 5 days and then called me in. He felt that it was time to start thinking about putting her down. I couldn’t bear the thought of not bringing her home for at least a little while. It really wasn’t for me, but for her. She had spent 5 days in a cement cell without her family and I knew I could medicate her and care for her and keep her comfortable. Because my vet has known me for over 25 years and because he is very attached to Babydoll, he agreed.

As soon as she got her home she was really happy. She slept a lot, ate well and continued to torture her brother, despite the fact that she had trouble keeping her balance and was weak. We got through Christmas and she continued to come to work with me. I watched her constantly to make sure she wasn’t gasping for breath or uncomfortable.

Towards the end of January, over a weekend, she didn’t want me out of her site. She just wanted to feel my touch and sleep next to me. I cut off her poof so I could pet her head gently as often as possible. I carried her around in a papoose–type dog carrier so she could be close to me. On January 25th, she stopped eating and drinking and I knew it was time. I called my vet at home and he met me at his office late at night. I held her while she went to heaven. I had arranged for her cremation and urn weeks before, so all that was left was to kiss Babydoll for the last time and hug my precious vet.

It took me a whole month to go and collect her urn, but I did it today. I brought it back to the office and my dear ones at work opened the box. I had her ashes put inside a rock that goes in the garden. It was the perfect place for her because she loved to bask in the sun on my patio like the movie star she was.

For those of you who are not animal lovers, you probably stopped reading this article paragraphs ago. For those of you who understand, I know you are feeling me right now. I am trying really hard to concentrate only on the joy and smiles she brought into my life. The sadness of her absence is heart-wrenching at times, but the change in Beau keeps me focused. He stopped eating for a few days when she didn’t come home, but after a while he realized that he was getting all my attention. He’s liking it big time.

If you have read this far, I thank you for sticking with me through this whole thing. I was not feeling funny today. For all of you out there who are pet owners, please give Rocky, or Sophie, or Bruiser an extra dose of love today in Babydoll’s memory. And thank you again for helping me get through a sad time by allowing me to write about it. I am grateful for every time she wagged her tail when I asked her, “Who is the cutest dog in the world?”. I never really minded it when I stepped on one of her squeaky toys in the dark and scared myself. I am thankful for all the help she gave me licking my ankles dry when I got out of the shower. It surely saved me lots of time in the morning. I cherish all the times she made me laugh at her antics and all the times she fell asleep in my arms.

When life is hard, I often find strength in the words of the great philosophers. Today is no exception.

“Don’t cry because it’s over... Smile because it happened.” - Ted Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

2/13/2014

Love And War

Sometimes people write to me and ask if I am REAL and if I actually write these columns and answer your questions myself. I have to laugh. I can’t even get my kids do their chores without nagging them, so it is unlikely that I could talk someone into writing a column for me. Of course, I am REAL. And you would know just how real if you had been here yesterday.

I love getting letters from my readers. I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world because I get to know you through your words, just as you get to know me though mine. In this crazy fast-paced world, where people conduct their whole lives on cell phones, eat over the sink so they do not to make dirty dishes and drive-thru everything from the bank to their house of worship, I am flattered when you take the time to email me. I keep every one of your letters, by the way, even that mean one from the guy in New Jersey who told me that leopard print is OUT and that I use too much of it on the site. He is wrong, of course, and I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. However, I am still not over the hurt of it all, but my therapist is helping me greatly.

Anyway, back to yesterday. I was going through this week’s reader mail, when I came upon a letter that took my breath away. With every word that I read, my heart thumped loudly and my eyes filled with tears. Incredible warmth came over my whole body. I just sat at my computer and cried. I cannot ever remember being so completely touched. I could tell you all about this fabulous letter, but better yet, why don’t I let you read it.

Hello Ms. Fifi,
I just had to write to tell you thank you for the wonderful lingerie you have sent. The quality is top notch, better in fact than many very expensive designer boutiques. I love the service I receive and have decided that I will entrust you with all my lingerie and delicates needs from now on. My husband is serving in the desert right now so I sent him your site address. He calls once every two weeks or so and one of the first things he says after I love you is "This is what I want you to get from Fifi's this time...” I get to shop and he gets to look forward to coming home to a whole new wardrobe of beautiful little things for me to model for him. I just had to write to tell you thank you. It is hard to miss him so much but now I'm not as depressed because I have a mission while he is gone. My mission is to transform my ordinary Army wife, middle aged self into a beautiful hottie, (for lack of a better modern term). Your lingerie makes me feel beautiful on the outside which makes me feel beautiful on the inside. My personality has changed from just having a ho-hum grin to having a beaming, brilliant smile. Every one has noticed and all I say is thank you and whisper "LOVE FIFI" to them and their wives. There will be a lot of happy soldiers coming home soon and thanks to you they will be returning to very beautiful wives and girlfriends.

Imagine getting to be part of some of the most passionate and intimate moments in people’s lives. We have learned from the many letters of gratitude we get from Military wives, husbands, girlfriends, boyfriends and lovers that the first time couples get to see each other after being apart for so many months and miles is even more spectacular than any wedding night hoped to be. They are celebrating their love, but more than that, they are celebrating keeping alive and returning safely to each others arms. My goose bumps have goose bumps.

I know that many of our troops have come home, but many more are still in places like Afghanistan. Saying “thank you for serving” sounds so inadequate. Thank you for risking your lives, living away from the people you love and giving up all your creature comforts seems much more appropriate.

To our military men and women and your spouses, we at LoveFifi.com are so totally honored to be a part of what keeps your dreams alive when you are forced to be apart. But even better than that, to be a part of your homecomings is over-the-moon wonderful. We are so touched and proud.

2/06/2014

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Tina Turner asks a good question. Let’s talk about it.

Did you know that we are the only creatures who can laugh…and love? Even though you think your Schnauzer loves you, it’s not the same kind of love that humans experience.

With Valentine’s Day so close, I think we should really examine this LOVE thing. How do we KNOW when we are loved? It’s important to know it when it comes your way.

I was a bit spoiled in the love department when I was a little girl. My mom would do things for me like cut my sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutters so when it was time for lunch, I had a special surprise. She used to make pancakes on Sunday for the family and always made these little teensy weensy pancakes just for me. She called them “dolly” pancakes. And when I would run through the sprinklers in the summertime, she would greet me at the front door with towels right out of the dryer. These were all beautiful acts of love that mean so much to me. I often look up at heaven and thank my mommy for all the things she did to make me feel so special.

When I was 16, my boyfriend gave me his class ring. He was the first love of my life. I wore his big ring on a long chain around my neck so everyone at school would know that I was “TAKEN”. As cool as I looked, the dangling ring bopped me in the forehead every time I bent over. If it hadn’t been for my bangs, the world would have seen that I was too blond to remember to hold the necklace when I bent down. I only ever thought about doing that when the ring bonked me in the head. Love sometimes comes with a price to pay. He said “I love you” all the time, wrote me mushy notes and called me every night. I was sure that he truly loved me until some dumb butt spiked the punch at the Senior Prom and I threw up in the center console of his vintage Thunderbird. He never got over it and we broke up eventually. I seriously questioned boyfriend/girlfriend love for a long time after that.

When I was in college, my boyfriend never TOLD me he loved me. He was a starving student and worked two jobs. When I studied, he would change the LP’s on the stereo so I could concentrate. He stayed up with me many times and helped me cram for tests. I can honestly say that he loved me, but I didn’t appreciate it at the time. I broke up with him when I graduated and broke his heart. Peter, if you are out there, I am so sorry. You deserved better.

As most of you know, assistant is my sister. That makes her my assister, right? Sometimes I get so involved being Fifi that I can’t see straight. She will pop in the office and bring me a cut up piece of fruit or an 8 oz. glass of water. She used to bring me chocolate or chips but those made my butt grow. I still appreciate her sweet effort to please me. She is pretty busy herself, but always thinks of my needs. That’s real love.

Now that I am older I know that true love is not about just saying the words “I Love You” (but I DO still adore how they sound). Real love is not measured in gifts, or extravagances, although an occasional diamond never hurts to drive the point home. Love is better measured in things you do, like when I wake up in the morning to the smell of fresh coffee brewing. Now THAT is love.

So, Tina... what’s love got to do with it?

EVERYTHING

Until next time.