Miss Traditional

It’s Thanksgiving evening and I am alone for the first time today. I am tired, and ready for a hot bath and pajamas, but first I thought I would write my article. I am filled with sentimentality and warm fuzzy feelings, so here I go.

Okay, I confess, I never really got the significance of this holiday on a historical level. The Pilgrims and Indians thing is way over my head. But a holiday that gets families together and includes pie gets my vote.

I hope you all had a wonderful day with your families. I did. In case you are curious as to what Thanksgiving like at my house, let me explain.

Do you remember the TV show “The Waltons”? Think back on how mom and dad Walton and all the kids worked side-by-side preparing the traditional meal. Every family member did his or her part with a smile. And to make it even better, Dad always had an inspirational story of Thanksgivings past to share as they worked together in perfect harmony. Got the picture?

Thanksgiving at my house is absolutely NOTHING like that.

Are we the only family in America who always has to send someone to the market at the last minute to get some vital part of the meal? You’d think after spending nearly $300 in the first place that we would have everything we need. But not us, we always forget something and find ourselves at the mercy of the only open market in town. Is $14.99 too much to pay for a carton of whipping cream? Let me know.

Dinner is always good, although no one in my family is very good at carving. They need to teach this at university level, because obviously it is not intuitive. It seems to also be a “man” thing, by the way. My CPA brother-in-law did the honors, and though he meant well, the pieces were a bit large to manage. I honestly could have done a better job by simply just backing over the bird with my car, but I didn’t say anything. It was a really wonderful dinner, and though I didn’t think it was possible to use every dish, bowl and platter in the house, we did it.

I wish I could tell you that we entertained ourselves after the meal with the men teaching the young ones how to whittle while the women worked on a quilt, but I would be lying. The truth is we watched football on television. However the most fun of the day occurred when my mother-in-law discovered that her grandson had pierced his tongue. Now THAT’S entertainment!

I am going to bed now. My heart is happy. I spent the day with many of the people I love, and the ones I didn’t get to see today know that I love them and that they live in my heart every day.

I am off to my bath and my bed, but tradition dictates that I swing by the kitchen and make a turkey sandwich. How else would you end the national day of overeating?

Goodnight, my wonderful readers. Goodnight, my precious family and friends. Goodnight, John-Boy.

Sweet Inspiration

You will not hear me whining about Thanksgiving. I really am looking forward to it. I just wish it wasn’t next week.

I am never ready for these holidays on time, but I am trying my hardest to get into the mood. I just watched a cooking show where the French chef made a roast turkey injected with a white grape reduction and glazed with Jerusalem oranges. It was gorgeous. I was so inspired by his creativity.

The thing that tickles me is that somewhere in America, some family will actually be eating that very meal. Someone watching along with me will be inspired enough to recreate that culinary masterpiece for their loved ones. I miss those Thanksgivings of the olden days when I would prepare the feast for my family. Cooking for my loved ones when they were younger was a whole lot easier. Now I have a vegetarian daughter, one that doesn’t eat fowl, one that doesn’t like turkey and a son-in-law that is dreadfully allergic to onions. I can’t cook without onions. So to make a meal for my grown-up children and the rest of my clan, I would have to make 2 versions of the side dishes, a turkey, a roast beef and a Tofurkey. Then of course there are the older relatives who have dietary restrictions. Just shoot me. We’re going to a restaurant.

OK, I got off track... back to the subject of inspiration. To be inspired is a miraculous thing. Inspiration is what gives us the wings with which we can fly and visit our dreams. Oh yes! I want to be inspired and fly, but I would probably get a middle seat.

All kidding aside, I DO get inspired by the world around me, and believe me, I am grateful. It doesn’t need to be complicated or fancy to warm your soul. Just think about pumpkin pie. Does it ever taste better than at Thanksgiving? Have you ever had a slice in July? It’s good, but not the same.

I am not here to deliver a heavy Thanksgiving message. I just want to remind you all about the delicious things in this world that cost nothing and feel so good. If something inspires you like a song, a flower, a sunset... share it with someone. And keep your eyes and ears open when others tell you what rocks their world. You don’t want to miss anything! It doesn’t matter if you are the inspire-er or the inspire-ee. It’s all good.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don’t worry if you over eat a bit; I have a warehouse full of girdles, corsets, slimmers and sucker-inners.

Sacred Grounds

I am an admitted drug addict. Don’t start planning an intervention just yet. I have it somewhat under control. I am not alone in this, by the way. In the U.S. alone, more than 75% of the population shares my obsession.

I love coffee. I need coffee. I would not want to live without coffee. I got it bad and I don’t want to be cured. I won’t go to rehab... no, no, no! It is the last of my vices and I am not changing. For the record, I am half English and my maternal grandmother made certain that I had a rich appreciation for tea. I have at least one cup of tea every day, between my cups of coffee.

I am not a connoisseur by any means, but I know good coffee when I taste it. I don’t have the foggiest idea what the difference is between Arabica and Robusta beans, but I can tell in a second if coffee is swill or nectar of the gods.

Coffee makes the morning special. This is probably way too much information, but I actually get the coffee going before I even go to the bathroom. I am often dancing in my pajamas, but I don’t want to wait any longer than necessary to take that first intoxicating sip. Speaking of dancing, did you know that coffee was discovered because of dancing? It was dancing goats, to be exact. Legend has it that centuries ago in the Ethiopian highlands, a goat herder named Kaldi noticed that his goats became very spirited and began dancing when they ate the berries off a certain tree. Being a good religious man, he reported his findings to the monks in the monastery. The monks made a drink from the berries and found that it kept them awake and alert for the long hours of evening prayer. The rest is history. Let’s fast forward to 2013. There are more than 20,000 coffee houses in the United States alone. There’s everything from mom and pop shops to Starbucks and everything in between.

Coffee is a powerful drink. It’s actually a commodity. Only gasoline ranks higher. It’s important in other ways, as well. People get acquainted over coffee and fall in love. Couples plan their future, business deals are made, tests are crammed for and beautiful dinners all involve drinking coffee.

Coffee is so important to me that a few years ago I invested in a single-cup machine. It’s one of the best things I ever did for myself. I don’t want to sound like a commercial, but every time I brew myself one perfect cup of coffee, I feel like a celebrity. I have my Keurig set to turn itself at 6 a.m. The blue “on” light illuminates my dark kitchen and greets me each morning like my own private sunrise. With a hot cup of coffee in hand, it isn’t long before I am snuggled on my outdoor couch with my puppies, communing with the birds and admiring the great outdoors. Coffee makes mornings an event.

Even though I am a devout coffee drinker, I am not an extremist. There is plenty of great coffee out there without spending a fortune. In fact, some of the best coffee comes from little hole in the wall places. I am not a snob. Good coffee is good coffee, whether it is served in a paper cup or Rosenthal china. My only rule is no Styrofoam. I won’t eat or drink out of that crap and you shouldn’t either. It takes 500 years to disintegrate.

Have you heard about the most expensive coffee in the world? It comes from Indonesia, but more importantly, it comes from weasel poop. This animal called a palm civet eats the soft outer part of the coffee “cherry”, but does not digest the hard inner beans. It then excretes them and they are gathered and roasted to make Kopi Luwak coffee. It is believed that the journey through the animal’s digestive system adds a unique flavor to the brew. I bet! It sells for $600 a pound and sometimes $50 a cup. And I thought Starbucks was expensive.

So now you know about my habit. If you ask me, I consider coffee drinking to be an art. I have included a photo of the LoveFifi.com coffee bar here at the office so you can see where all my dancing goats and I grab a cup before our morning meeting.

And just for fun, in case you haven’t had enough yet... I am including an incredible array of photos from the premier coffee artist of the world. I will never be able to drink a plain cappuccino again! Enjoy!

Myth Fifi

Are you superstitious? Someone asked me this the other day and I had to ponder the point. I don’t think I am, but when I started asking the same question of others, I was really surprised by the answers. It seems like most everyone I know has some hinky little ritual they do to bring luck their way or keep out the bad spirits. I got so interested in the subject, I did some studying to try to understand the whole deal about superstitions and lucky charms. Fascinating stuff, I can assure you. Listen up... I think you will be very entertained.

First of all, so I don’t disappoint anyone out there, let’s talk about me. My only brush with good luck coming my way happened last year in Seattle. My sister and I were walking down the street near the ocean happily chatting and window shopping. All of a sudden, a huge mega-ball of bird poop hit my shoulder and exploded down both my front and back. My sweet sister, always my protectorate, pulled anything that resembled a tissue out of her purse and started the massive clean-up. I didn’t get excited, I just looked the other way while she dabbed and swiped at the huge mess on my blouse. I don’t know what kind of bird did the damage, but guessing by the size and trajectory of the deposit, it had to be a cross between a seagull and a 747. Sister did all she could and we continued the short walk back to our hotel so I could shower and burn my clothes. A man who had witnessed the whole episode approached us just to let me know that what happened to me was considered very good luck. I didn’t win the lottery or become internationally famous after that experience, so I am not a believer.

Sports people are very superstitious. For example, Tiger Woods always wears the color red on the last day of a tournament because in his mother’s Thai culture, red is a lucky color. Michael Jordan wore his University of North Carolina shorts under his Chicago Bulls shorts in all his professional games for luck. Tennis star Serena Williams reportedly bounces the ball exactly 5 times before serving. Actually, the sports world in general has a truck load of rituals and beliefs to keep out negativity. Here’s a quick list for my sports enthusiasts:

Baseball: Spitting into your hand before picking up the bat is said to bring good luck. Lending a bat to a fellow player is a serious jinx.

Basketball: It is believed that the last person to shoot a basket during the warm-up will have a good game. Bouncing the ball before taking a foul shot is considered lucky.

Football: It is considered bad luck to take a new number if a professional football player is traded. Double numbers on a uniform are said to be super lucky.

Golf: It is considered unlucky to start the game with an even numbered club. Using a ball with a number higher than 4 is said to be bad luck.

Tennis: Wearing the color yellow on the court is very unlucky. It is bad luck to hold more than two balls at a time when serving. No comment.

Fishing: It is believed that if you spit on your bait before casting it will give you fishing luck. Here’s my favorite... Fish may not bite if a barefoot woman passes you when you are fishing. If she breaks into a run, she probably saw you spitting on your bait. Yuck!

And how about those celebrities? Heidi Klum carries a bag of her baby teeth to keep her safe. Cate Blanchett has her elf ears from Lord of the Rings mounted and displayed on her mantel. She considers them to be very lucky in her career. Television personality Star Jones never puts her purse on the floor because she believes it will cause her to never have money. Hold on, I need to pick up my purse from under my desk. Ok, let’s continue. It is reported that Jennifer Aniston always steps onto an aircraft with her right foot first and then simultaneously taps on the outside of the plane for good luck. Rocker Axl Rose will not do a concert in any city that begins with the letter “M” because he feels that those places are cursed. I read recently that ticket sales for the last Guns ‘n Roses tour were not as good as expected so maybe he added some letters.

Superstitions have been around since the beginning of time and many of them have become things we do naturally. People long ago believed that putting your hand over your mouth when you sneezed kept the devil from entering your body. In case you haven’t heard, the new sneeze etiquette is to turn your head and sneeze into your upper arm. That’s fine, but where does the devil end up? Please write to me if you know.

Do you know why the wedding veil was created? Back in ancient Rome it was devised to mask the identity of the bride on her wedding day and protect her from evil spirits that are jealous of her happiness. Rosemary has been used for centuries to keep witches away. Does it work on bitches, too? Again, let me know.

And let’s not even talk about the number 13. Are you aware that more than 80% of high rise buildings in the US have no 13th floor? Airliners have no row 13 and hospitals have no room 13. Crazy, huh?

If you look up superstitions, you will be amazed and amused what people find to be lucky and unlucky. This craziness has been going on for hundreds of years and it’s getting worse. If you memorized every one of the myths floating around to keep you lucky and uncursed, you would have to have a memory like a computer and you would be afraid of everything. What if you were superstitious, practiced Feng Shui and were respectful of when the planets were in Mercury Retrograde all at the same time? You could drive yourself crazy. Life has enough stress without all this foolishness. Stuff happens the way it’s supposed to and you can’t really change it by hanging garlic around your neck or kissing a frog. I can tell you the frog kissing thing is bunk. No princes at my front door this week.

Here’s wishing you all a lovely fall weekend, my precious readers. I love this time of year and I have a weekend planned that should be quite exciting. Fingers crossed!

This one's for you, Clover.