What a week this has been. Last week I wrote about this man I am seeing and asked all of my dear readers to help me. He's a very lovely person, but very serious and under-emotional. I was trying so hard to get to know him and appreciate his mysterious ways, but I was having such a hard time with the way he says things and, in some cases, doesn't say anything at all.
As usual, you guys didn't fail me. I received an overwhelming amount of replies and opinions ranging from gentle to ferocious. I read every one of them and boy... are my eyes wide open now!
I was amazed to see how many of you really "get me" through my writings. I was so impressed that you understood completely that, although I am good at sorting out problems for others, that I was too close to see my situation clearly. That's why I always consult experts when I am out of my area of expertise. Thank you my sweet experts, you done good.
First of all, I was shocked that SO many people that I actually know read my articles. Many of those friends were surprised that I was seeing someone and they didn't know it. I received both letters of congratulations and hate mail asking why I hadn't mentioned him. Goodness gracious, I have only known him a short time. I was trying to figure out this relationship between the two of us before I started to expose him to my wacky friends and family. It seems that I actually upset some dear people in my life because they read about him in one of my articles instead of hearing it from me first. Holy crap, it appears that I am always pissing someone off! For those of you that I offended, I will get back to you as soon as I can. Please take a number.
Next there were those of you who felt that I must be ever so cognizant of our "cultural" differences. I appreciated this point of view, but he has lived in the U.S. for decades and my grandmother who helped raise me was a fine English lady. I don't think there are really any cultural difficulties between us. Oh wait! Maybe you were referring to that "Men are from Mars" theory. That would make me have cultural differences with every man in the universe. The fact that he had an English upbringing has nothing to do with it. If he were from Kuala Lumpur, I would agree. Both of us speak English as our first language. It's more a "joie de vivre" difference, than cultural diversity. I feel the "joie" of things long before he does and that creates some problems.
One reader thought that I should be grateful that he is attentive in restaurants. She told me very sternly that I am not perfect (really?) and that some men just cannot express their feelings and that I am needy if I require being told that he cares. She continued to say that a man who keeps my wine glass full all the time is a "keeper". That may be true, but I couldn't stop wondering if I could deal with him not saying he missed me when I eventually had to check into Betty Ford. Sorry, that's just the way my mind and heart think. I can't help it.
I got some really sweet letters from ladies whose men, though flawed, were beyond wonderful. I heard accounts of rampant snoring, farting, and soup slurping guys whose gentle ways and endless thoughtfulness made them complete dreamboats in their women's eyes. I loved those letters especially. A friend of mine wrote to say that her boyfriend wasn't perfect, but that he calls every night before bed to tuck her in on the phone and say "I love you". Yes, Walt, we're talking about you. All I could do was swoon. Let me paint you a mental picture. Walt is a big "badass" biker guy. He is obviously also part teddy bear.
I was so flattered that many of you see clearly to my nurturing loving side. You came right out and said that you felt that I was way too tender-hearted to be with someone who chokes on words of endearment.
Well my precious readers, I took every word you wrote and measured the pros and the cons. I also factored in that I am not exactly a "walk in the park" when it comes to temperament. I have been called a hand full, a firecracker, and worse, so I have to make allowances for me being me.
Well, thanks to you I have sorted it all out and I am at peace. I also feel like I just won the Love Lottery. I put my money on my Fifi fans and you gave me exactly what I needed. You spoke to me frankly, you made me see the big picture from so many angles, you spoke to me with honesty and respect and most importantly, you put your arms around me and delivered the big hugs that I really needed. It doesn't matter that they could only be cyber hugs. I could feel every one. You showed concern for my conflicted feelings and urged me to follow my heart. You told me that you loved me.
I now know what's what and I know exactly what to do. Thank you.
One more thing... I love you,too.
