I have some exciting news. I have this new man in my life and I really like him. We are in the first stages of getting to know one another, so it is interesting. Since you, my darling readers, know me pretty well after all this time together, I was hoping that you would tell me what you think. I know you will tell me the truth.
When you are 25 and dating, you don't need any help, but when you are older, have been previously married for ages and are a bit stuck in your ways, a little guidance would help. I know many of you out there are over 40 and been around the block more than once.
Okay, let me begin. He passes all my tests as far as integrity and depth of character. He doesn't get hinky when I talk about children or grandchildren, and I look forward to them all meeting. He is well dressed in a conservative sort of way. He is very pleasant to look at and he is warm and charming. He grew up in England and speaks with thick accent. For me this is not a problem. I grew up during the British Invasion and saw "A Hard Day's Night" a dozen times. I speak Beatle fluently. Understanding what he is saying to me is easy. Understanding why he said it and what he meant by it is much harder.
He's not a player and seems completely genuine and honest. He is considerate and attentive. To say that he is intelligent is an understatement. He is well educated and very successful in business. He is a great talker and a great listener. He is punctual and extremely well mannered. He is very knowledgeable about wine and never fails to bring fabulous bottles when he comes for dinner. He always helps clear the table afterwards and begins immediately on the dishes. We have a good time together and discuss everything under the sun. He describes himself as a Renaissance man and I believe that to be a very accurate description. He is not a snob, but is a bit stiff. I'm just sayin'...
I know that some of you ladies are saying to yourself, "Wow! Why can't I find a man like that?" and I agree. He is remarkable. Why am I confounded as to what to do next? Here's why.
Although he can quote Shakespeare and can spout ancient poetry, he is not romantic. We were discussing love relationships and I started describing what I thought every woman would like to hear. To be told that a man adores you and can't live without you were the perfect words to me. He immediately sat up a little straighter and quickly amended what I said. "That is just not true" he said. Okay, I get it, Mr. Semantic Pants! I knew where his exacting mind was going. Of course a man could certainly still live if his woman died or stopped loving him, but he is saying that he would rather not live without his woman by his side. I got the feeling that if my new man ever did fall completely in love with me, the best declaration of his undying love I would ever get would be something like "I am very fond of you, dear. I am extremely pleased that we found each other". I am stupid romantic and I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am wondering if this yearning for romance will get in the way of this relationship progressing. Too bad there isn't Viagra-like product for men to keep their romantic side erect.
I admit that he is conservative with his feelings, but I have always prided myself in being able to loosen up the most restrained of people. When I say something gushy, like "spending time together is so wonderful and feels so right", I know he feels the same way but why does he have to nod his head and say "I concur"?
I get it that we are very different, but that's what makes it so exciting. I am willing to make concessions, but the romance thing is really important to me. I am all about love and romance, as you all know. Hey! I saw the movie "Ghost", too... and I don't do "ditto" very well either.
The other night he took me to a lovely Italian restaurant. I watched him pour olive oil and balsamic vinegar onto his side plate. I then noticed that my side plate was already full. For a minute I thought I was having a senior moment and had forgotten that I had already done it, but realized that he had poured both onto my plate first. So sweet. I am not used to it and I thanked him. He got boyfriend points for that. He also keeps my wine glass filled and is always concerned that I am happy and comfortable. Good stuff!
I always tell him that he looks nice and he does. He never says much of anything about how I look. I swear that even if I were to meet him at the door in a scuba suit, I would get the same "good evening, ma'am" that I usually get.
When he comes to my home for the most casual dinner, he could go immediately to a job interview without changing his clothes. His idea of casual and mine are very different, but I find it refreshing to see a man nicely dressed and impeccably groomed. Last night he came over for a low key dinner and to watch my favorite show, "Project Runway". I noticed half way through that my man was dressed better than both of the famous men designer judges.
By now, you must be sensing my angst. I don't want to mess this up, but do a Free Spirit/1960s Wild Child and Renaissance Man/Slightly Stiff Englishman have a chance? I would give an enthusiastic "YES!" myself if it weren't for one big issue. We have very diverse views on a super sensitive subject. Oh, it's not politics or religion; we can figure all of that out easily. We are both civilized people who respect the opinions of others. The deal breaker might be my two little dogs. Don't misunderstand, he likes the dogs very much and they love him. The issue here is the fact that my dogs both have vast wardrobes and I dress them everyday. My dogs are happy when they are dressed up and the attention and treats they get from everyone makes their tails wag like crazy. If my puppies were uncomfortable, I wouldn't do it, but they not only hold still to be dressed they seem to know that they rock whatever outfit they are wearing. My man teases me about it constantly. He thinks that it is insane to put clothes on dogs. Usually he is open-minded about everything else and if he sees a valid reason for a change of heart on a subject, he will consider it. Perhaps if Brooks Brothers came out with a line of dog clothes, he would be more lenient with his harsh opinions. I even looked on the Internet to see if Queen Elizabeth ever dressed up her Corgi dogs. No such good luck, but a whole huge part of the population thinks that dogs look cuter dressed up. I am quite sure that most of the dogs think they look pretty hot as well.
Tell me what you think. Can this work? I don't want to blow it with this guy, but I have zillions of dollars wrapped up in doggy fashions.
